Making Sense Of Unexpected Change.
Strategies to navigate change, when you least expect it.
Change is inevitable … but it can be a shock, right?
Most of us accept change will happen at some point. But the thing that really affects us all, is reorienting ourselves around change.
Getting used to a new reality takes time.
What’s happening when you process change?
Your brain is always looking for ways to keep your life certain. When a proposed change comes along … your brain presses an internal ‘fire alarm’ of sorts.
It does this to tell you: you need to adapt.
This means, when you hear of a change at work, you might …
Feel mentally ‘elsewhere’.
Find it hard to focus.
Be frustrated, irritable, distracted, frazzled.
Feel like you need to defend yourself.
Want to prove your value.
Can you relate?
Your brain loves ‘your normal’ so much that …
It’ll convince you a change that could be good for you, is a threat. For example, you might:
Get nervous your manager is moving on, even if you didn’t get along.
Feel weird about getting made redundant, even if you were burning out.
Be annoyed about having to reapply for your role, even though you were applying for other jobs.
Looking back … have you had experiences that were good for you, yet felt terrifying in the moment?
Processing change is a well documented curve, that looks like this:
Stage one: shock. You’re getting your head around it.
Stage two: despair. You’re stuck in what there is to lose. This stage is the riskiest for you, as you’re less likely to use your discernment.
Stage three: acceptance. You can see an upside.
Strategies for when you feel stuck.
If you find yourself stuck in stage two (e.g. feeling like you’re losing), it’ll be useful to clarify what is not changing. This will help you feel less overwhelmed.
Try this quick exercise. Answer the following five statements:
One thing I am certain of e.g. my job is changing.
One thing I accept e.g. I might have a new manager.
One thing that is not changing e.g. I’ll be at the same workplace.
One thing I am not sure about e.g. I wonder what the new manager will be like?
One potential benefit e.g. I might learn something new.
Your brain needs to feel in control.
Reminding yourself what is staying the same can help. Ironically, training your brain to notice what is not changing can help you cope with more.
Navigating ‘change limbo’.
Change limbo is when you’re stuck in that place between understanding a change is happening but feeling it’s unfair. If this is you, you’re in ‘change limbo’.
Getting stuck for too long can change how others see you.
It’s easy to overestimate how much empathy colleagues have for you when you’re frustrated. After all, they’re busy worrying about their own hopes and dreams for their career.
If you’ve been frustrated for a while, your colleagues have probably picked up on the vibe.
If you were hoping they’d be a reference, or put in a good word for you for a job in future, it’s in your best interests to get perspective from someone independent of your work.
Protect your professional reputation by getting a perspective away from work.
Here are three examples of advice and feedback you can get for free:
If your workplace has it, give your workplace EAP (employee assistance programme) a call. Free counselling, designed for moments like this, contents not shared with your boss.
Think about someone you respect who isn’t your boss. Can they help you make sense of it? Just make sure it’s someone whose job you respect, so you take their advice seriously (vs someone you’re fond of wouldn’t trade places with).
Consider getting an expert opinion from your local community legal centre. An expert can help you confirm your suspicions, or help you get clarity.
Do any seem reasonable for your situation?
When in doubt, remind yourself of your choices.
In our workshop for workplaces, Navigating Yourself Through Change, we invite people to use the change as an excuse to refresh their career plan.
Reminding yourself you have options and goals, bigger than this change, can help you put things into perspective.
There is no ‘perfect’ decision. But indecision keeps you stuck. Take control of your change by focusing on how you’re going to approach it.
The quick guide to making sense of unexpected change:
Remind yourself what is not changing.
Refresh your career plan to feel a sense of control.
Talk to someone who isn't at your workplace to get their take.