We go to the next level when it’s clear what we truly desire.
To take control of the life you want, you have to be clear on what truly ignites you.
While the task may look simple, it can take some deep introspection to shift from what you feel you ‘should’ want towards what reflects your true wants and desires.
In your I Want List, you’ll be led through a self reflection exercise that asks you to ponder the answers to these questions:
What do I want to achieve?
What do I want to feel/be?
What do I want to have?
Be guided through your I Want List with Rachel Service.
Step one - I Want List
Step two - Game Plan
Reflect on how you would like to feel, what you want to have and what you want to achieve.
Take your time, be compassionate with yourself as you record your thoughts, and make space for what you really want.
It is common for people to first write what they feel they ‘should’ write, what they currently have/do, or what they think others will approve of or admire. For now, try replacing any internal ‘shoulds’ with ‘coulds’. Try it on. See how it feels.
I want to be/feel…
How do you want to feel every day? Write down how you want to feel at work, at home and in your everyday life. You might prefer to replace this with ‘I want to be’ instead of ‘I want to feel’, if that is more you.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
• I want to feel energised when I go to work.
• I want to feel confident at the gym.
• I want to feel competent with my finances.
• I want to feel in control of my emotions.
• I want to feel enriched by my friendships.
• I want to be supported by my peers.
• I want to be intellectually stimulated.
• I want to be surrounded by people who inspire me.
Next, determine the timeline, stepping stones and habits that will transform what you are craving into tangible steps.
Timeline: Is this a short-term or long-term goal?
Stepping stone: What is the smallest, safest step you can take towards this?
Habit: What long-term habit (something you do every day, or every week) could enable you to achieve this?
I want to have…
As you reflect on what you want to have, take note of what will enable you to experience security, safety and support. When we feel safe, secure and supported, we are mentally freed up to take steps towards our self-fulfilment. (You can learn more about what we crave for our self-fulfilment in Chapter 12 of There Has To Be More, where Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is discussed.) Those of you who gain fulfilment through providing for others might find this exercsie confronting; for the purpose of this exercise, encourage yourself to focus on meeting your own needs before reflecting on how to contribute and add value to others’ lives.
Here are some examples of what you might want to have:
• I want to have a job I enjoy.
• I want to own my own property.
• I want to have friends who support and inspire me.
• I want to have access to mentors.
• I want to have savings.
• I want to have the confidence to say no.
Next, determine the timeline, stepping stones and habits that will transform what you are craving into tangible steps.
Timeline: Is this a short-term or long-term goal?
Stepping stone: What is the smallest, safest step you can take towards this?
Habit: What long-term habit (something you do every day, or every week) could enable you to achieve this?
I want to achieve…
This can be as simple as a goal you’d like to achieve, such as securing a pay rise or being in an enriching relationship, or as large as writing a book or receiving a lifetime achievement award. The point is to move your thinking towards tangible achievements that have meaning to you. If you’re feeling stuck, start with what you wanted to be or do when you were younger, then move on to what you find yourself craving now.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
When I was a kid, I wanted to be... (an astronaut, a vet, no idea but it involved food...)
When I was at school, I wanted to be... (a doctor, a singer, a firefighter, a yoga teacher)
What I’d actually love to be (and I have no idea how this would become a reality) is... (Beyoncé, a performer, a scientist).
Next, determine the timeline, stepping stones and habits that will transform what you are craving into tangible steps.
Timeline: Is this a short-term or long-term goal?
Stepping stone: What is the smallest, safest step you can take towards this?
Habit: What long-term habit (something you do every day, or every week) could enable you to achieve this?
Examples can be helpful.
I want… ‘to be a motivational speaker’.
Timeline: The next six months.
Stepping stone: Start a blog. Ask my friend what blogging platform she uses.
Habit: Make room on Sundays to start writing how to’s while I figure out what I’m doing.
I want… ‘to be exercising regularly’.
Timeline: It’s pretty darn important, so ASAP.
Stepping stone: Lower expectations. Do two workouts a week.
Habit: Commit to two workouts a week for the next six weeks. See what happens.
I want… ‘my own apartment’.
Timeline: Mid-term (one year).
Stepping stone: Start looking around at prices. What do apartments go for these days in the location I’m keen to live in?
Habit: This is going to cost me far more than my current rent. Start getting into the habit of putting away a small amount of my income towards a mortgage.
I want… ‘to be a personal trainer’.
Timeline: Long-term.
Stepping stone: I need cash to fund further study. I also have lots going on with work, so the stepping stone is to put it on the list for next year. (Tell someone else about it so they keep me accountable.)
Habit: Schedule to come back to this next year.
Looking for more?
Create your own version of success with this guide to personal growth: There Has To Be More.
“This book was exactly what I needed to pursue a new chapter of my life on my own terms.”
“So often we can be swept away by day-to-day life that we don’t take the time to be intentional about growth. This book is a great reminder of the power of doing just that.”