The Cost Of Yes.
Before you say no, figure out what you’re saying yes to, first.
Have you ever said yes, without thinking about everything else you’ve got going on?
That’s the reality for most people at work.
The impact is overburdening, overwhelm and sometimes, burnout.
What’s a clever person to do?
At Happiness Concierge, we say decide what you’re really saying yes to, before you say no.
That way, you’re making your ‘no path’ easier to navigate.
To do that, we use a tool called a ‘pre-yes’.
What’s a ‘pre-yes’?
A pre-yes is clarifying in advance, what your non-negotiables are. Then, when you get asked to do something, you refer to your pre-yes list, first.
Based on what your pre-yes list says, you decide whether you can afford to say yes. If it jeopardises what you’ve pre-committed to, you have to say no.
Knowing your pre-yes list makes saying no easier.
Clarifying what’s on your pre-yes list can help you manage your capacity and risk of burnout. If you know what you’re saying yes to, it’s more obvious when you need to say no.
The benefits to creating a pre-yes list.
Making a pre-yes list can help you:
Press ‘pause’ before saying yes immediately.
Give you a buffer to figure out if you want to say no.
Protect yourself from other people's ‘emergencies’.
Not get seduced by the adrenaline of reacting to an urgent situation.
Finish your non-negotiables even when things get busy.
Avoid shiny objects or distractions.
Saying no with confidence is about figuring out a reason why you can’t say yes in the first place. Having clarity on why you can’t say yes, with a pre-yes list, helps you do that.
What’s on your pre-yes list this year?
If you were to ask yourself three questions, how would you answer them?
Non-negotiables: If you only had time to do one thing this year, which would it be?
Important: What is important, but not job-threatening if it doesn't happen?
Pause-able: What would be no/low impact if it didn’t happen?
Alternatively: what can’t you live with not having done at work this year?
Sometimes this exercise reveals you don’t know what your priorities are.
Useful in itself. If you have a boss, it’s useful to share this list with them and get input e.g. how do you see these three categories so I can best spend my time?
How much is your ‘yes’ costing you?
If Happiness Concierge asked you to help us out for an hour … Do you know what it’d take you away from?
That’s what pre-deciding your ‘yes’ list does. It helps you figure out what a yes takes you away from, and whether you’re willing to compromise your non-negotiables for it.
Tally the cost of your current yesses.
Here’s a fun exercise: tally how much your current yesses are costing you.
Then, see if there’s any buffer time left over, to react to unexpected requests.
You can do this by attaching a time cost to each task, then tallying it up.
‘But my job is reactive, I don’t know what I’m focusing on in advance.’
In that case, you want to clarify what your ‘buffer equation’ needs to be. That is, how much spare time you need in the calendar to react to unexpected, reactive requests.
How much buffer do you need to say yes to unexpected or reactive requests?
20%? 80%? Deciding on your percentage helps you protect it, instead of squeezing it in on the side.
This tells you what you need to say no to, to protect your buffer. Deciding in advance, how much buffer time you need to protect, can help you say no.
What do you think?
Do you want employees to have the skills to manage expectations?
In our workshop, Managing Expectations, employees get tools to manage expectations of stakeholders. This creates more trust, less single person reliance and less stress.