Networking With Authenticity.
Networking is about authentic
relationships.
Not sure what’s in it for you? Reflecting on what you want more of is a handy place to start.
If you were asked to introduce yourself to a stranger, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it:
‘No thanks!’
‘I don’t know what I’d say’
‘How do I open the conversation’
‘It feels a bit forced.’
‘Not sure why I’d do that?’
All of the above? You’re not alone. Most people don’t love networking, at first. They feel ‘icky’, inauthentic and not entirely clear what’s in it for them (or the other person for that matter!).
Why is networking so important?
Networking helps us meet people we might authentically connect with. This has a number of benefits. From new job opportunities, to mentorship, to learning about new and interesting ideas, to intellectual stimulation and genuine friendship, the list is honestly endless.
In one longitudinal study of affluent males, it was found that the number one predictor of happiness was relationships. Not a hot body, or a dream career. Relationships. Diversifying our ‘joy portfolio’ is good for our mental health, too.
Your next move is just one introduction away.
Networking is good for business, and your career, too. Sociologists have discovered that ‘Weak Tie Networks’: people who are one contact removed, are more likely to have exposure to opportunities you don’t know about (yet)! That means the people you know now have access to endless opportunities for you to learn, grow and evolve.
If you run your own business, your future clients are in your weak tie network. If you have a job, the people who might find your experience appealing are one contact removed. If you are looking for your next or first job, those who are one contact outside of your immediate friend or family network have access to so many opportunities that could be a neat fit.
What do you want more of in your life?
When we are clear on what we want to gain from networking, mapping out who to contact is so much easier. Start by outlining what it is that you want from networking.
Here are some thought starters:
‘I want to upskill and so I’m hoping to meet other people who are good at X.’
‘I’m wanting to meet people who are in the same situation as me so I have people who understand!’
‘I want to make more friends who also run their own business.’
‘I’m hoping to meet clients.’
‘I want to meet someone who might hire me one day.’
‘I don’t know who, but I know I want to do more of X.’
Can you see how, by shifting from ‘what I don’t have’, to ‘what I want’ helps you put your authentic intent in front of your next step? It helps reduce feelings of ‘I’m not sure why I’m doing this’ and increases your motivation for taking steps forward.
For example, you might discover from this process that your core driver for networking is to make new friends. Or it might be to find people who can hook you up with your next career move. There’s no ‘wrong’ reason to want to network, but getting clear on what’s in it for you helps you stay in your integrity.
When we aren’t sure what we are networking for, or what’s in it for us, our message becomes diluted and it makes it trickier to make those genuine connections. Instead, doing a bit of pre-thinking helps us start from a place of centredness, instead of feeling a bit inauthentic, doing it for the ‘sake of it’.
Who do I reach out to?
Once you’re clear on what you want to get out of networking, you can start making a few categories. Here are a few examples:
People who are really good at the thing I want to be good at one day.
People who have the job I want one day.
People who also run their own business in my sector.
People who know about the sector I want to get into.
Firstly, map out people you already know who fit this description. Don’t know anyone yet? Try this: Who do I know that would likely know someone who fits that description? When you really get creative, you might find that people who already know you, trust you and adore you would be more than happy to introduce you if they know your intent (which you’re now clear on). How good is that?
Another route is to write down people you don’t know yet, that you would love to know one day. They could be on LinkedIn, and have the job title you want one day (the search function in LinkedIn is really good!). They could be on Instagram, with the skill you’d like to improve on. They could be people you want to meet and you have no idea how you’d reach them. By getting as specific as you can, you’re getting that much closer to making the first reach out.
What do I say?
Short and casual is great. Everyone is busy, so knowing what your intentions are actually helps them decide more speedily if they want to respond.
Taking what you’d like ‘more of’, and your intent, you simply add a bit about you for context. If it’s your immediate network, you might simply ask if they know anyone who can help you find what you’re looking for.
To make it easy for them, here’s a handy template:
A little about you
An example to paint a picture
Why you want to connect with the person
An easy way for them to say yes / opt in
Let’s step through some examples with your immediate network:
‘As you know I’ve just launched my business to help freelancers manage overwhelm. I have two spots in my next take in, so I’d love to offer them for free to two people in my network. Would you know anyone who’d be interested?’
‘As you know I’m on the hunt for my next job. I want to do more project management. Do you have any recruiter recommendations?’
Casual and specific helps.
If it’s a new connection, try this:
‘I’m a PHD candidate at UNSW. Currently I’m investigating the link between media messaging and how many women are taking up STEM careers. I’ve loved reading about your work and would love to follow your updates.’
‘I’m a project manager working in advertising. I’m looking to get more into creative campaigns. I noticed your agency has an amazing mix of work. I’d love to connect, let you know I’m open to new jobs. If you ever find yourself keen on expanding your freelancer roster, I’m always happy to pop by for a coffee or jump online for a virtual cuppa.’
‘I’ve just launched my own business, and I’m looking to help businesses like yours. If you find yourself struggling managing finances, I’m always happy to chat.’
‘I’m working in the fitness industry and love meeting new people who are passionate about wellness. I’d love to keep in touch and if it’s useful to you, I’ve also attached my CV in case you’re looking to expand your team and my skills are relevant here.’
‘I’m the CEO of Happiness Concierge. I work with lots of leaders, and noticed you’re doing amazing things at your company. If it’s ever useful, always happy to chat about leadership, over a virtual or in person cuppa. Be neat to connect to follow your work.’
As you can see, short, specific and open, helps people decide whether it’s a fit for them or not.
How many people should I be reaching out to?
You don’t need to reach out to loads of people. Just one person at a time, as you find your confidence and you meet people who are a good fit for you.
As an example, I personally reach out to a handful of new people each week. Sometimes it’s one person. Sometimes it’s 10. And these days, it’s organic as I discover them. It might be a casual LinkedIn connection request, an Instagram direct message or a simple email saying hello.
If the other person chooses to respond, great! In some instances, I’ve heard from them months later when the timing was better for them. In other instances, I’ve never heard back from them. If not, I don't make it ‘mean’ anything other than they didn’t get back to me. I’ve sent my intent over and the other person can choose whether it’s appealing to them or not.
Not everyone will be a fit. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you failed. It just means there wasn't mutual chemistry. Don’t take it personally, just keep going until you do find people who are a right fit for you.