When I meet people I want to know three things:
What do you want to do more of?
Who do you need to know to get closer
How can I help?
If this seems overwhelming - you're not alone. Approximately 80% people who attend Happiness Concierge workshops say they don't know the answer to this (yet).
So how can we ask for the promotion or job of our dreams if we don't know what success looks like?
Often the biggest challenge is not 'do I want to do something different', it's 'I don't know what I want to do next'. I created this list when I returned from my Beyoncé concert in New York and knew I wanted something different: I just didn't know what that was, exactly.
This list took me five goes to nail it as total bollocks came out at first.
- First I wrote down what I thought I "should" write
- Then I wrote down what I currently did (even tho I didn't love it)
- Then I wrote down what I thought others would approve of
- Then I made up some vague "business" ...
- I then gave up and wrote down "speaker".
Just goes to show articulating what we want to do more of is challenging when you've been hiding behind a certain identity for so long.
That one baby step started a series of smaller habits that grew my confidence over time. So I'll ask you again: what do you wanna do more of?
Download the free resource here - and join me in figuring out what you'd like to do next.
Alternatively, write down three headings on a piece of paper:
- I Want To Feel
- I Want To Have
- I Want To Be / Achieve
I Want To Feel
How do you want to feel every day? Write down how you want to feel at work, at home, in your everyday life.
Here are some examples to get you started:
I want to feel energised when I go to work
I want to feel less anxious at the gym
I want to feel happy on the weekends instead of exhausted
I Want To Have
Same goes for what you want to have. Do you want to have a bank account that doesn't make you anxious every time you get cash out? Do you want to have friendships that make you feel good about yourself? Do you want to own your own place?
I want to have a job I enjoy
I want to own my own apartment
I want to have friends who support and inspire me
I Want To ACHIEVE
This can be really confronting for some. You don't need to know the answer straight away - the trick here is to start with what you wanted to be when you were a kid, then move up to where you are now.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be: (an astronaut, a Chef, have a job with a photocopier like Dad's office)
When I was at school, I wanted to be: (a Vet, a singer, a fireperson, a yoga teacher)
What I'd actually love to be, (and I have no idea how this would become a reality), is: (Beyonce, a performer, a scientist)
This is the fun part. Let's figure out how you're going to get them in small, achievable steps. You'll be surprised how easy it can be to break down big dreams into real life scenarios.
The I Want Action Plan consists of:
- Timeline: Is it an Immediate or short term goal?
- Stepping stone: What's the small step you can make towards this?
- Habit: What is the long term habit that will achieve this?
I want to be a personal trainer
> Timeline: Long term.
> Stepping stone: I need cash to fund further study. I also have lots going on with work so the stepping stone is to put it on the list for 2017. (Tell someone else about it so they keep me accountable).
> Habit: Create yearly 'I Want List's and schedule to come back to this next year. Too easy.
I want my own apartment
> Timeline: mid term goal. 1 year.
> Stepping stone: Start looking around at prices. What do apartments go for these days in the location I'm keen to live in?
> Habit: This is going to cost me far more than my current rent. Start getting into the habit of putting away a small amount of my income towards more rent.
I want to be a motivational speaker
> Timeline: This Sounds Awesome. The next six months.
> Stepping stone: Start a blog. Ask my friend Lara what blogging platform she uses.
> Habit: Make some room on Sundays to start writing 'how tos' while I figure it out what I'm doing.
I want to be exercising regularly
> Timeline: it's pretty darn important. ASAP.
> Stepping Stone: lower expectations. Do 2 workouts a week.
> Habit: Commit to two workouts a week for the next six weeks. See what happens.
I want to have friends who 'get' me
> Timeline: ASAP. This sucks.
> Stepping stone: do a People Audit.
> Habit: say NO if it doesn't feel right or assess situation before saying YES.