Need a confidence booster? Don't fake it: make it happen.
The Happiness Concierge definition of Confidence = evidence + validation + self belief. Here's how you can break that down into small, do-able, slayable actions to build your awesome, badass self:
Taking note of the smallest of wins is creating a visible tally for how much you slay every day. When you get those achievements out of your head and into tangible, written down, repeatable and say-out-loud-able terms: you're on your way to building confidence based on #factsonly.
Ask yourself: what have I achieved, big or small, in 2018 already? What can I be proud of?
One small step which can build a long term habit is to take a note at the end of every day of what you have achieved. I do this at the end of most of my days to help me celebrate the wins and identify patterns in feeling mojo-ed or mojo lost. This can be done as a whole before bed or perhaps you leave for the office each day. Literally a bullet list on a note on your desktop will do the trick before you head off for the day.
And ... when the time comes to meet with your boss, a potential client or a friend who's genuinely asking what you've been up to - you have those recent wins front of mind to share if you'd like to, written down like a tally.
Take small acts of action
Action comes from a series of tiny, baby steps. And taking actions validates us that we can do the things that sometime scare us, or, if we're not afraid, we just have no idea where to start, it can help us move in the right direction.
Step One: Articulate the goal / thing you'd like to do more of. This might include speaking up at meetings, communicating like a boss to your boss, public speaking or perhaps just rocking an outfit you've bought and never worn out of the house (I get it).
Step Two: Ask yourself: 'what is the smallest, tiniest, action I can take towards making this real?'. The cool thing about momentum is once you start something small, you start believing that you can really do this because here is your brain delivering all this badassery and capability. It's this feeling we want to keep moving.
Example: after receiving feedback my body language was not as powerful as it could be, for 30 days I practiced lifting my chin at every meeting, walking down the road and looking up. After 30 days, I found it became habit and I started to see my confidence increase as it affected how others viewed me: confident. Ain't that cool *lifts chin as writes this*.
Seek and secure evidence
When someone asks, 'what do you do', the number one answer I hear is a word salad or a voice talking to their armpit in embarrassment. Let's change that.
At our Brand You courses, we teach students to write down their accomplishments, the big name clients or brands they have worked for and to package that up into a soundbyte that communicates what a badass they are. Using evidence - as opposed to empty words - does the talking for you and ensures you come across as a credible and reliable source. You can read more about 'accumulative experience' and Impostor Syndrome here.
Give yourself permission
Beyonce says, 'you aren't given power. You have to take it'. Let that be a lesson for us all.
Giving yourself permission to seek what you want in life is the first step. If you're not sure what that looks like.... the HC I Want List is one heck of a great place to start. This helps you ask yourself the following questions: How do I want to feel? What do I want to have? What do I want to achieve? And critically: what is the tiniest, smallest, do-able step I can take to get there?
Do it, people. Do it now. You can also share your learnings and process in the HC Slack Channel. We got you like that.